Jan. 9th, 2015

akienm: (Default)
I remember getting the call that I should probably get down there. I remember the dark wood paneling that was out of date even then. I remember the late morning light, the overcast seeming highly appropriate. I remember you weren't conscious. I remember your labored breath. I remember talking to you, and wondering if any part of you was hearing me. I remember looking at the whisps of hair that the chemo had left you. I remember holding your hand as you breathed your last breath. I remember going into the other room and trying not to cry. I remember reminding myself of the things I'd learned from "Illusions". I remember leaving to drive home. The rest of the drive I do not remember.

I remember going with mom to the mortuary. I remember her deciding on a wooden casket, because you had so liked woodwork. I remember seeing you in the casket with your hands one atop the other, and thinking how the fingers didn't set the way a live hand would. The fingers sat more like wood than flesh.

I remember standing by your grave until the last shovel was done.

I remember crying when I wrote this one down.

This is a sad memory.

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akienm: (Default)
Akien MacIain

January 2017

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