Apr. 1st, 2015

akienm: (Default)
This happened this morning, and this isn't an April Fool's joke.

I remember seeing you in the parking lot at the Safeway. You asked me for a spare buck, and I said I didn't have one. You walked on.

Later, I was in the parking lot at the Walgreens, headed inside. I saw you ambling kind of aimlessly toward the Walgreens too. I went inside to buy cough meds for Leah.

I am standing there reading labels on medicines, and I hear *CRASH*! And after just a moment, *CRASH*! I look down the aisle toward the front of the store, and there you are pulling bottles of champagne off the end cap and throwing them at the managers and clerks of the store. *CRASH*!

I took a step toward you, you turned and looked at me, and then lobbed one my way. I was all the way at the other end of the aisle, so I stepped behind a display, and the breaking glass and liquid just went past me. I thought "OK, the direct approach won't work". I backed up, and you resumed throwing toward the front of the store. *CRASH*! *CRASH*!

I backed up again, and switched aisles. I came up behind you. You started to turn toward the end cap to get your next bottle. I said "HEY!" You turned, looked at me, and started to reach for another bottle. I grabbed your shoulder in one hand, grabbed another bottle in the other hand, and poised it over your face as if to say "the next move is yours, but I'm in the winning position". And you went submissive.

Keeping a hold of you, I walked you to the front of the store, and sat you down in a corner. The manager said the police had been called, I gave him the champagne bottle I was holding and went back to get the cough meds.

*CRASH*! I turned around, and there you were, at it again. This time, I came up to you with another bottle in hand, and grabbed the shirt over your shoulder, and gave you a very small shake, as if to say "knock it off, you're got!" But by now, the floor is completely covered in champagne. So you lost your balance and landed on your ass.

Said to myself "I am sick of this, he doesn't know when to stop!" And the floor is a mess. Trying to get you to stand up might make me lose my balance too. So, I dragged you across the floor and back to your corner. This time, I stood over you until the police arrived. You tried to get up about three times. Each time I told you to stay down there. All but one time you did, but as you started to get up, I just pushed you back down.

The police arrived, took the manager's statement, my statement, and so on. The manager at one point led one of the clerks to the back of the store, she was in hysterics. Another clerk came up and thanked me for saving them, and gave me a hug. Finally I completed my purchase and left.

This is not the first time I've done something like this. Both times, it was clearly someone who was in some way intoxicated, and was just being a bully. They were certain no one would match them, and when somebody did, they folded.

Dawn (figuratively) rolled her eyes.
Leah said she was proud of me.

I like this memory.


akienm: (Default)
Akien MacIain

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