Apr. 17th, 2015

akienm: (Default)
I have learned that a feeling is a feeling. It's not "what is". It's my reaction to something in front of me, based on my habituated thought patterns developed in the past (stories).

In my past, if it was negative feelings, the urge to make them stop was *HUGE*. Either I had to take action to make them stop, or somebody else did. I made deals with my partners to not do things that upset me. I tried to make sure that if my partner was doing something that would make me jealous, I had a date of my own to distract me.

Now I try to be with the feeling first. To empathize with the part of me having the feeling. To parent myself in the way I wish my parents had. Only after that's well and truly complete do I look to see if there's more to do.

It seems to take a lot more effort, and I don't always remember to do it… But with time and practice, I'm doing it a little more often with each passing month.

This is an awesome learning.

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akienm: (Default)
Akien MacIain

January 2017

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